By Todd L. Goodsell


People sometimes wonder how I thrive in the Church. This is what I tell them.

Some time ago I was talking with a gentleman I had met at a civic event. I learned that he had been raised a Latter-day Saint but was no longer active in the Church. As we swapped stories about our lives, he shook his head and exclaimed that it was difficult to understand how I—someone in his mid-30s who had never been married—could remain active in the Church when some members are insensitive toward singles and particularly toward single men. He told me that after finishing school, he purchased a home at age 30 and hoped to marry soon thereafter, but when that did not happen, some members of the Church stopped interacting with him. Some, he said, even started saying unkind things about him. He resolved the discomfort he felt by leaving the Church.

I am sorry for this brother. I tried to explain how I felt about the Church, what I do in it, and what the gospel does for me. I hope he comes back someday soon.

The Church is exactly where single adults belong. It has had a profound influence in my life, but I understand that being a single adult in the Church—and especially a single man—can bring with it some difficulties. There are several things that have helped me get along in a Church that is decidedly (and rightfully) pro-family.